no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
well you can't waste a boner
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Go christen that room with your naked body.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize