Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
