I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
