we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
