dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you win again, gameday.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize