tell your sister to shave her snatch
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
