yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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