How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
