Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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