season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
