my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
where am i from again
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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