somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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