i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
