As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
