he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
