Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
