You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
