He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
