I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
