this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
