i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
