Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
from now on my penis is your penis
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
