he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
