I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
