Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
