we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
