uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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