i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
