I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize