Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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