He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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