In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Dear god my vagina.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
