Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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