I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You pole danced in your parka.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
