i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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