Pappa wants mamma naked
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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