my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
