I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
