I wish I could punch you in the face.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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