addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
