that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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