Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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