did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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