I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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