the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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