is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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