In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
