Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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