thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize