i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
