dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize