i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
