I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
